Recently I have been finding new aspects of myself that hold the feelings and experiences of a young child. I have encountered many different aspects of myself over the years and it has taken much time to learn to deal with them compassionately and kindly.
Often, when I encounter these “child parts”, I find that they are holding a feeling or experience that needs healing. Until the feeling or experience has been acknowledged and healed it creates a stumbling block that prevents me from moving forward in life, or taking actions that need doing. When I have listened to and acknowledged that part of me, and offered it the healing I can, the block is removed and I can move forward with a new clarity.
One of the most consistent needs those “child parts” have is to be loved. This can be hard at times, as they hold feelings or experiences that are upsetting, painful, or uncomfortable. I have found, though, that I can hold that part of me in love and that changes everything. It resolves the bad or uncomfortable feelings I have about that part, brings love and compassion into the picture, and resolves the difficulty that has been tripping me up.
Here is a simple exercise you can do to hold a difficult part of you (or feeling) in love and heal parts of you that you might not otherwise be able to reach.
Find a comfortable place to sit and focus for a while. Make sure that distractions are at a minimum, phone and electronics turned off, other people told not to disturb you.
Take a few deep breaths to calm and center yourself, and then begin.
Visualize your heart center. It is in the center of your chest, behind your breast bone. You may see colors there, such as pink or white or green. It may feel like a space that is larger than that part of your body, and in the energetic realm it is bigger than your physical body. It may feel circular or round, or even square. This is where your heart energy is centered in your body and your being.
Now if you have an aspect of yourself that you are aware of that you feel needs love and/or healing, visualize it. You may see it as small person, as a feeling, as a color or shape, or maybe just a few words to describe it, or even a name or word for a name. Notice if it is located in some area of your body.
Bring this part of yourself into your heart center. Let it settle in for a minute or two.
When you are ready, visualize pink light filling your heart center and surrounding that part of yourself. This pink light is the light of love and has a loving feeling to it. Sometimes you are able to feel the love, sometimes you just have to know that it is love even though you can’t feel it.
Take 5 or 10 minutes to continue to hold that part of you in the loving pink light. When your attention wanders, gently bring it back.
You may find yourself speaking to that part of yourself. Do not say anything critical or hurtful to that part. You may say things like “I am so sorry,” “I love you,” “You are okay,” “I understand.” You might have a conversation with that part of yourself. You may find that you gain some understanding of why this part of you feels or acts the way it does (or did), and you may find that you have forgiveness or understanding that you didn’t before. If you don’t that is fine, it is important simply to continue to love that part of yourself.
When you feel you have spent enough time bathing that part of you in love and loving energy you can say good-ye to it. Tell that part of yourself you love him/her. Ask if there is anything else you can do. Let him/her know you will be doing this again, if it feels possible or appropriate. Say good-bye to this part of yourself gently and lovingly.
When you are done you may want to write down any realizations you have had.
This is a powerful way to heal aspects of yourself that you may not otherwise know how to deal with. It is also a powerful way to bring love into your life, and to love yourself.
So often we have a profound need for love and are not sure where to get it or how to find it. It doesn’t occur to us that we can give it ourselves, start to fill that very deep human need within our own selves, but it is possible, and one of the most healing things we can do for ourselves.